Present DayMe : "Looks like the machine is ready. Gonna have to go back in time and kick my own ass."*climbs into machine*The Year 20102010 Me : "Love, love, love, love! I'm in love with love! WEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!" *stops mid-twirl and notices the doppleganger standing in front of her with arms crossed and a gleam in her eye*2012 Me : "Listen up, former me. You're going to be reading a lot of books over the next couple of years. It's time you start learning how to look past the heart-fluttering feeling that you get when 'hot guy' and 'clueless girl' start eye humping each other, and really look at what you're reading. Otherwise, you're going to curse yourself to a merry-go-round of the same hot messes over and over." 2010 Me : "Lalalalala. I can't hear you! I'm in LOOOOVE with love! Hot guy with his shirt off! Yayayayayay!"2012 Me : *takes a swig of something strong then punches former version of myself in the face* "Guess you're going to have to learn the hard way. Enjoy your swooning. It won't last."I guess I was due for a clunker. It's really too bad, because the 2010 version of myself probably would have enjoyed the book. I just can't get excited anymore about a book when the only thing going for it is a hot guy. Almost every story has a hot guy in it these days...heck, even some of the non-romance books emphasize a virile or nubile creature somewhere. Sex appeal has wormed its way into the most unlikely of places. So I can't just expect to like a book anymore simply because a guy is hot and confident. That's nothing new.Why I said FFS out loud many times over during my read :~ The cover and title were a bit of false advertising. No one was wild. I couldn't tell you one wild thing that happened, at least nothing wild by my standards. The "ass crack, ass crack" (as sung in my head to the tune of "backpack, backpack" from Dora the Explorer) cover picture was not sexy.~ There was a sizable portion of the book where it was like ping-pong pining. She missed him, he missed her, she missed him, he missed her...~ I actually had a long list of things that drove me crazy about the book, but decided to leave most of it out because I couldn't pass up showing you the stuff that people said. There were so many phrases to pick from that I decided to quit reviewing and give you a small idea of why this alone would be enough to make me raise an eyebrow. Imagine the characters' voices going up an octave. This is how I heard the people in my head."His stomach completes the perfect package of his upper body. It's rippled like the surface of the lake when I drop a rock into it, every abdominal well-defined. His skin is tan, like he spends a lot of time outdoors without his shirt on. And, considering the weapons he is packing, I think he's doing the world a favor when he does it.""And her personality? Psssh, forget about it! Ohmigod! You know you're off your rocker when your thoughts sound like 60s mobsters.""Holy balls!""Addictive. Trick is addictive. Yes! That's totally it!""Holy shit, that's hot!" (this was the guy, believe it or not. He favored exclamation points as much as the girl)"Crap balls!""I want him to tear them off. With his teeth!" (no clue why I'm thinking her voice would have squeaked when she exclaimed this)"I'm not perfect, Cami. I'm not a thoroughbred like he is. (I nearly choked on my laughter from this phrase)"His tongue slips into my mouth and I taste the most delicious flavor in the world - Trick. Unbridled. Unreserved. Unfettered." (can I get this as an ice cream flavor? Btw...I never thought to use unfettered as a compliment. I might have to bank that word for future use.)I wanted to go into the incessant amount of blushing and winking, and the fact that Trick can do everything from supporting his family, to working on cars, to delivering baby horses, to playing multiple instruments and dancing like he's born to do anything and everything while still managing to look like a god, but I won't. Because I have one last thing to mention...When you're getting it on, the moment after penetration is not the time to start a conversation that lasts 2 pages. I am NOT kidding when I report that this was actually said during the act : "Damn, can we talk about this later?"YES, I DID HAVE A LAUGH AT THEIR EXPENSE.I'm way too lazy to make a FAIL stamp right now but it sure is tempting.