I was molested. When I was twelve. And everyone else in the world knew it except for me.One little phrase - one big revelation. How different could Josh's life had been, had he realized this sooner?No one ever said, "He was wrong, Josh. You're not a little fucking perv."Boy Toy was a study in the aftereffects of abuse. Written in both present tense, as well as in flashbacks, we see one young man's life fall apart before our eyes over a period of five years. This isn't the first book I've read about student/teacher affairs, but this one stood out to me more than any other. I felt like a helpless observer on the sidelines, watching as Josh at age 12, young and innocent, was seduced by a woman in a position of authority. I was saddened as Josh struggled to understand himself, and couldn't seem to figure out how to fit back into a normal world when he was no longer normal. The fallout of the "incident" took its toll on many other people in Josh's life. Family, friends, teammates. No one was immune. The person who was hit the hardest was Josh's close friend (and potential "could have been" girlfriend) when he behaved in a horrific manner toward her. You learn early on the book what probably happened, but no details were given. As the story starts to catch up to the present through a series of flashbacks, we're hurled back in time to the night when this young boy did the unthinkable. It pained me to read about it. Not because he hurt another person, but because he was so wronged and confused, that he had no comprehension of what was normal behavior anymore.If any book fit the definition of bittersweet, it would be this one. So much of this story could have been avoided, had someone, anyone made Josh believe that what happened was not his fault. The tragedy of seeing the waste of years was bitter. The triumph of seeing a hurt child grow into a functioning man was sweet.Even though there was a very big portion of Boy Toy that did focus on the sexual awakenings of the main character and how he was seduced by a person of authority, I don't feel like the book was written in such a way that was merely for shock value. Had the story ended sooner than it did, this might have been the case. I found myself grateful that the author took his time in showing how long it took Josh to move on to a place where he could begin to heal. After five years, we were just getting to the point where he was able to start the process. Altogether, these passages might not make much sense, but they were ones that I felt worthy of marking. If you can understand what is going on, great. If not, that's okay too. These were just little snippets of the book that captured some of the mood."You're Joshua. Strong. My king. And me...""I'm Eve. The first woman." She snuggled close to me. "Your first woman."I forgave her.I should tell her that it's not her. That it's not her fault, that she's beautiful and warm and sexy and that any man with a brain and a working cock would be an idiot not to yearn for her, not to worship every last inch of her. That I'm damaged, broken, a bizarre temporal conjoined twin - half of me stuck here, the other half still living five years ago, connected by flickers like electric sparks in old horror movie laboratories."I swear to God, Rache. I swear it has nothing to do with you.""It's her, isn't it?" Her voice low and sad in the dark."No. Not her." My voice catches. "Me. It's just what I am.""Didn't anyone ever tell you?" she yells, her frustration exploding from her. "Didn't anyone ever tell you that it wasn't your fault?""This feeling I have for you...I've never had it before. And I've never had a name for it. Because the name was being used - misused, misappropriated - by something else."